Let’s face it, hunger
pangs suck yet they are almost always with us. The growling feeling of
hunger and its demand for food isn't the best feeling in the world.
Most people deal with it by eating. Anorexics like to do it differently.
We deal with it by:
Chugging a glass of water
Drinking something with caffeine in it (caffeine is an
appetite suppressant)
I wish I could say that I just ‘became’ anorexic but that’s not the case. But I
do know when I first ‘met’ Ana. I was ten years old, and I was well
fat. I wanted to lose weight and got the great idea of not eating and over
exercising. Luckily this never happened, it was only a thought. But when I was
twelve, I turned those thoughts into actions.
My family was very
negative about my weight and would make mean comments. I guess you could say I
just wanted to make them proud. Usually I only ate around 500 calories a day
and worked out for about three hours. I lost about twenty pounds. I started to
black out as well as faint almost daily. At the time my parents thought it was
just harmless loss of baby fat and commented about how good I looked. This just
fueled my eating disorder. I started a stricter diet but that led to binging.
At the time I didn’t gain any weight.
When I started school my
friends also commented about my body. But, then they saw what I ate. My friend
said it looked as if I was anorexic but I knew she was joking. Even though I
didn’t think I was anorexic, I researched it anyways. That’s when I realized I
was anorexic; almost all the symptoms matched. I was nervous and eventually
told my parents. They were not that educated on the subject so they did not
seek help. Anyways I didn’t need help. I was able to recover in February of
2012. I gained back all the weight I had lost.
I got depressed about my
weight again and I had a relapse. That was June of 2012. In July of the same
year, I created this blog to aid me with my weight loss. Now it is October of
2012 and I’m still trying to lose weight.
All I have to say is,
‘Sticks and stones may break my bones but worlds will cause me to starve
myself.’ Think before you say.
One of my huge motivations for loosing weight would have to be watching weight loss shows. Most of the time I am quite mean and laugh at how overweight they are. I know that's mean, so I do not recommend anyone else doing this. When I watch these shows, I learn more about weight loss, although I am already an expert.
One of my favourite weight loss shows is "X-Weighted Familes". It is a Canadian weight loss show so I am not sure if it is available in the USA. It tracks a overweight family on there journey to loose weight. Here is the link to watch episodes online.
Another weight loss show I like is "Supersize vs Superskinny". It is a British television that deals with extreme diets. An extremely overweight and underweight swap diets for a week. It gives you motivation by watching overweight people and gives you thinspo as well. Also it talks briefly about Anorexia in each episode. They usually follow a few of them during there journey to recover. I usually just skip that part.
Here is my favourite episode:
There are many
more weight loss shows that I watch but these are deffinately my favourite.
What is my sexuality? I
am STRAIGHT! It is a fact that gay men are three time more likely to delelope
anorexia then straight men but this does not mean that every male anorexic is.
When someone finds out about my eating disorder, the first thing they assume is
that I'm gay. Well I'm not. Here is a nice article talking about male eating disorders
and how sexuality relates to them.
Well I do not have that
much to say. People automatically assuming I'm gay has got on my nerves. I just
want to express that. If you read this, please note that if you are a straight
man with an eating disorder, do not worry. You might be in the minority but
nothing is wrong with you.
I was at the beach a few days ago looking at the funny t-shirts. You know the ones like, 'I'm with stupid' or 'Its good to be the king'. That is when I saw this shirt:
Immediately I was outraged. This shirt was obviously a joke and I respect that but it is promoting an eating disorder as nothing serious and as a joke. Eating disorders are not a joke, they are a matter of life and death. 20% of anorexics will die of complications to the illness while only 40% truly recover. Things like this are why there is so much prejudice.
When I came home I decided to do a little bit of research. I searched up 'I Beat Anorexia' and this is what I found:
As you can see, the man wearing the shirt is relatively large (the nice way of saying he is obese). This either means that people who do beat anorexia have to be the exact opposite, obese or that eating disorders do not have to be taken seriously.
It might be funny if you wear it to the movies but if you meet an anorexic with that shirt on... all I can say is good luck.
So that basically concludes my short rant of the day. Oh and a quick life update, I got twitter. Here is the link. Please follow me! I sound desperate now...
It feels as if I am always late when it comes to new topics but here I go.
I believe it was in December 2011, when a Disney television show, Shake it Up, made a joke about eating disorders. It was 'I could just eat you guys up, you know... If I ate'. Here is the video:
As you can see, it feels as if Disney is trying to promote eating disorders to children. Demi Lovato, a Disney star who suffers from bulimia soon tweeted:
I find it really funny how a company can lose one of their actress' from the pressures of an EATING DISORDER and yet still make joke about..
— demetria lovato (@ddlovato) December 24, 2011
Later:
And is it just me or are the actress' getting THINNER AND THINNER.... I miss the days of RAVEN, and LIZZIE MCGUIRE.
— demetria lovato (@ddlovato) December 24, 2011
Note both Raven Symone and Hilary Duff have had to deal with pressure from the media to loose weight.
And finally she sent a message to her formal employers:
Dear Disney Channel, EATING DISORDERS ARE NOT SOMETHING TO JOKE ABOUT.
— demetria lovato (@ddlovato) December 24, 2011
Disney has since pulled the episode.
Though Lovato is Pro Recovery, I respect her. She stood up for what she believed in and made a difference.
I have noticed a few things lately and one of them is the negative views on anorexia and any type of eating disorder in general. People have sworn at me and said horrible things because I have an eating disorder. People think it is a choice or simply a joke and find it disgusting. Go look anywhere, I guarantee you that you will find something negative about anorexia or an eating disorder. The society that we live in are very uneducated and is filled with prejudice.
Here are a dew things people have said to me:
'Wait that's so disgusting! Why would you starve yourself!? It's disgusting!'
'What that makes no sense. Ew you're so disgusting get away from me creep!'
'You just want attention.'
'Just eat the damn salad! People are straving in this world so just eat it, damn it!'
'Everyone knows boys don't get eating disorders. You're just making this up to get attention.'
I do not own these quotes. I picked them up while browsing other Pro Ana sites. I do not necessarily believe in these quotes either.
Giving in to food shows weakness, be strong, and you'll be better than everyone else.
Do not give up what you most want for what you want at the moment.
An imperfect body reflects an imperfect soul.
Craving is only a feeling.
If it ws easy, everybody will be thin.
If it tastes good, it's trying to kill you.
Sacrifice is giving up something good for something better.
It doesn't mather how slow you go, as long as you don't stop.
It's the mind that makes the body.
Everytime you say no to food, you say yes to thin.
Eat to live, don't live to eat.
When you resist the pain of hunger, it means your not a slave of your body.
Eat less, weigh less.
Thin is beautiful, even thinner is perfection.
Anorexia is a lifestyle, not a diet.
I only feel beautiful when I'm hungry.
Skip dinner, end up thinner.
Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
Thin is perfectin, I'll die trying to achieve it.
I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul.
I'm not there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday.
A moment on lips..... forever on the hips.
Not eating light makes your clothes tight.
Thin has a taste all its own.
Calories can't make you happy.
I'm not starving myself... I'm perfecting my emptiness.
Don't give up what you want most for something you want in the moment.
The secret of success is the consistency to pursue.
Everything depends upon the right action of the will.
You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
The word is control. That's my ultimate - to have control.
I don't take the first little bite; I don't begin. I have no problem.
Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.
Don't do anything today that you'll regret tomorrow.
The hungrier you are, the more fat you burn.
Thinner is the winner!
You can never be too rich or too thin.
Of course it's hard; if it were easy, everyone would be thin!
This is forever. I will do whatever it takes. I want to be thin more than anything, even food.
One day I will be thin enough. Just the bones, no disfiguring flesh. Just the pure, clean shape of me, bones. That is what we all are, what we're made up of and everything else is just storage, deposit, waste. Strip it away, use it up.
That which nourishes me destroys me
Why can't they realize my strength, how much it's taken to make so little of myself?
It's simple: you decide once and for all that you aren't going to eat, and there is no further decision to make.
I do eat normally; I eat only what is necessary for survival. I can't help it that we live in a piggish society where gluttony is the norm, and everyone else is constantly stuffing themselves.
When I wake, I'm empty, light, light-headed. I like to stay this way, free and pure, light on my feet, traveling light. For me, food's only interest lies in how little I need, how strong I am, how well I can resist, each time achieving another small victory of the will.
Food hinders your progress.
You've made a decision: you will not stop. The pain is necessary, especially the pain of hunger. It reassures you that you are strong, can withstand anything.
Hello my name is James.
I am a thirteen year old boy currently going into high school. I am a
stereotypical Canadian boy. I love the outdoors, apparently I say
"eh" a lot, I love sports (HOCKEY!!!) I have been told I am very
polite and I am fluent in French and English. The one thing that sets me a part
is I am Pro Ana. Yes I am anorexic and yes boys get it too.
What I hate about people
that do not have an eating disorder is how ignorant they actually are. I went
to a camp and the staff actually expected me to recover in a day. What the
hell??!! They thing anorexia is a choice. I admit some Ana's might say that but
I view it as a lifestyle. You can't change a lifestyle in a day now can you?
Ok getting back on
track, today is the day I am going to change. Today, I ate around 1400 cal, but
tomorrow I am going to fast. Only water and diet soda is allowed, I hope it
works.
